(201) 247-2582
myquietplacepc@gmail.com

2381 Hylan Blvd, LL, Suite #2
Staten Island, NY 10306
NPAP Building
40 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011

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My Quiet Place

COVID-19

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My dear clients! I hope things are OK with you in this very trying and challenging time for all of us.

In light of the recent Covid news, I had to make these prompt changes to keep all of us healthy and safe, both my family and yours. I offer secure HIPPA-compliant video or phone sessions to avoid exposure and follow social distancing, so that I do not put my own family and my clients at a higher risk.

I highly recommend video sessions since it’s the closest feel to face-to-face therapy, where the difference is hardly felt between these therapy venues, video sessions are very clear and we see each other well. Additionally, my clients enjoy that our sessions are conducted from the comfort of their own homes and they can avoid unneeded and non essential travel. For my existing clients, the continuity of therapy is vital to see progress and results in sessions. Adjustment can be difficult for many of us, especially in such times where changes happen abruptly, stress, anxiety and state of panic can be triggered by people feeling this state of limbo and the state of the big unknown, when we may not be able to necessarily pinpoint the resolution to the problem. Stress can be beneficial to many people when its dosage is limited and fleeting, however prolonged and high levels of stress are detrimental to the body and can induce higher levels of anxiety, panic, apathy and depressed mood. I’m here for you and am happy to offer various therapeutic methods and techniques that help you resolve your negative feelings and teach you better coping methods to deal with the reality of today. I’m here for you to address any other challenges and problems you’re going through in your personal, familial and professional lives.

Feel free to reach out to me via Email or by phone and I’ll send the info required on taking further steps to connect. In such times of need it is vital to maintain calm and balanced approach to the changes that need our implementation, and to practice mindfulness and the power of NOW. Please stay healthy and safe.

My warmest regards,
your NY psychotherapist, Marina Krugolets.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Male Bonding

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I surveyed a dozen men while researching the topic of Male Bonding. My questions to the male audience were: 1. what does male bonding mean to you and 2. what purpose does it serve in your life (single or married)?

We need to differentiate between 2 stages of male bonding experiences: before marriage and after marriage.

Many of the responses I received from my male audience coincided with my own analysis of this topic and the conclusion I was able to draw from this small research was that male bonding is a healthy and wonderful thing in a man’s life because it gives him a chance to spend quality time in the company of like minded male friends whom he can relate to (key word) on a variety of levels while discussing relevant, interesting or pressing things/experiences that are taking place in a men’s life. To my question about whether male bonding -pre or post marriage- is different many respondents noted that it is definitely different due to the nature of questions/topics men are discussing in their buddy circle. Whereas single or dating men would typically discuss women, dating, sexual innuendoes, outings and hobbies, in married life men usually discuss or vent about marital relationships, children and their upbringing, the toll responsibilities take on a married person, feeling exhausted, work challenges, family vacations and/or business ideas to supplement the income. This should not reflect the notion that male bonding is more significant in married men but one important point to be made here is that male bonding carries more of a therapeutic significance in married men. This happens because it allows men to vent their problems to the other like-minded guys, feel the importance of male acceptance, non-judgmental listening and feedback provided by friends in an environment of male comradery.

In psychotherapy, these factors are amongst some of the major healing agents in the process of coming to terms with what is and accepting the present reality. The factors of acceptance, lack of judgment, reflective listening, empathy, support and productive feedback can serve many men as a healthy substitute to therapy or marital counseling (considering that interpersonal relationships are not in a difficult/stuck mode). Male population, which has a tendency to shut down emotionally and avoid disclosing their true, dark feelings as well as find unhealthy outlets to pour their emotions into- would greatly benefit from having a ‘buddy ear’ that they can bend to get a mild or moderate emotional/psychological relief from their everyday challenges and relationship problems.

As you can see, I’m coming to the conclusion that male bonding serves a healthy purpose in a man’s life, his marital experiences, resolution of his personal challenges and acceptance of present reality.

Here is to women who support male bonding or to the ones who are on the path of accepting its significance!

Filed Under: emotional connection, Friendship, men's psychology, psychology of relationships, psychotherapy, today's psychology Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

An Ode to Guyhood.

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An Ode to Guyhood.

Do women really understand ‘A Guy’s struggle’ in this world?

Be it a single guy or a married one, the dating guy or a settled (ringed) one- guys go through various developmental milestones even after crossing over puberty, entering adulthood and trying to find their place “under the Female Sun”. I’ve heard this thought expressed during our sessions by several of my male clients. I kept thinking- is it really hard to be a Guy?

Take, for example, a married man with a few children in tow. What does his life consist of living with a typical wife (excuse me, of course we are all unique and in need of better understanding), who exudes an array of typical behavior that is cited in a myriad of jokes and portrayed by comedians? This guy with a family is probably dreaming of some peaceful time after work to watch a superhero movie or go fishing with his buddies, or better yet- plump himself on the couch with a newspaper, or order a dozen of hot wings and watch On Demand whatever. He also dreams of getaways, spontaneous sex, attention from attractive female species (yes, he still needs to feel handsome), late night get togethers with his buddies, male only Vegas trips, you name it! What is the realistic environment of this married man? A train of responsibilities and chores after work, chauffeuring his children to various activities, chaperoning play dates or birthday parties on weekends, a tired wife in the evenings and zero spontaneous sex (“kids can hear or see us”- coming from the wife).

To conclude, his life is not so simple, if you ask me. Being of a different gender I understand all difficulties that women have to go through and endure starting from their own toddlerhood, but who really understands the spectrum of challenges that men have to cope with? Yes, we, as women, want to see our guys as protectors, breadwinners, child educators/punishers, financial decision makers, the ones who would empathize with our unique female challenges and emotional experiences. So then we, in return, need to try harder and dig deeper into our men’s emotional world experiences, needs and wishes, make stronger attempts to understand male species better, feel them on the deeper level, catch their moods (yes, men also get moody though they express it covertly and not overtly as women do) and offer them more empathy after a long work day. We, as women, need to try harder and let men spread their wings of freedom more often, agree to their buddy outings, fishing trips so that they have an even greater desire to come home to an understanding and sweet wife.

I dedicate this Ode to a Guy who is searching for more acceptance, understanding, empathy and support from his female audience.

 

 

Marina Krugolets, LMHC, LPC.

Psychotherapist (Adults, children & couples), Clinical Counselor and Advocate for Senior citizens at Nursing homes, Online psychotherapist and a very patient mother of 2 beautiful girls.

You can reach Marina by emailing her with your questions or scheduling a consultation with her at myquietplacepc@gmail.com and by visiting her site- www.myquietplacecounseling.com

Filed Under: men's psychology, psychology of relationships, psychotherapy Tagged With: , , , , , ,