(917) 900-1177
myquietplacepc@gmail.com

2381 Hylan Blvd, LL, Suite #2
Staten Island, NY 10306
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40 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011

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Warning, Covid-19! Coping and mindfulness in the unprecedented times.

April 17, 2020 by Marina Krugolets Leave a Comment

Our life, as we know, it has changed drastically and so abruptly that many of us are still grappling with the swiftness of change and fathoming a myriad of ways in which we can adjust to the new reality of today. The mega contagious virus Covid-19, which name has recently been updated to Sars-CoV-2, has taken over the world in the mere month and a half, signaling humanity that we have to re-evaluate many things in life that we deemed important and nearly impossible to live without. My clients, family and friends experience a form of de realization and a “blurred vision” kind of feeling of their whereabouts every single waking moment. I constantly hear the questions of “what now” and “how is it possible”, “this is the end of the world”, “the world will never be the same”. Catastrophizing and panic that people are dealing with on the daily basis since the outbreak is really heartbreaking and is so raw. We, as nation, were really unprepared emotionally and psychologically to deal with such an invisible “monster” that already claimed lives of thousands of people. Difficult and tragic experiences that we went through as a nation (9/11, Sandy superstorm) were utterly catastrophic and also surreal but one factor that separates those tragedies and this present viral outbreak is the aspect of socialization and a sense of unity, that we had as a nation, as a community in the first 2 tragedies and the lack of the possibility to socialize and stay united and physically connected during the Covid pandemic. Our need to connect, our longing for togetherness and socialization is clearly portrayed in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it stands on the 3rd level, with the 2 first primary needs being the Physiological needs and Safety Needs. The 3rd hierarchy of needs named “Love and Belonging” outlines the sense of togetherness, community, connection, love and friendship. I feel that on this particular level, due to the increased risks of close socialization and the need for social distancing and staying inside our homes, this Maslow’s need has suffered significantly. Our Physiological and Safety needs were also shaken in a remarkable way, for many members of the community these needs have been shaken the most (i.e. the healthcare workers, police officers, firefighters). These hard working and courageous professionals had to become the frontlines during the Covid outbreak, consistently placing their lives and health on the line to preserve and save countless lives of those affected by Covid and our general community. To them, our highest gratitude, a deep bow and a profound sense of sympathy and emotional support, that we can and should all extend. As a psychotherapist, who observes and understands the emotional and psychological reactions, experiences and post effects of high levels of stress that people experience in today’s reality, I’m saying- I’m here for you, for any type of emotional and psychotherapeutic support that you need, because your needs and your voices matter to all of us, and your safety should be of a high priority to this country, that values togetherness, connection and a sense of camaraderie and community! I believe that this horrid experience has been given to all of us for a very particular reason, that we can not fully understand or appreciate at the present moment, because our attention is directed to our survival and safety. I believe that one of the very powerful messages that this outbreak brings is- Be Prepared and Act swiftly with first signs of danger. Another message that I believe to be of no less significance is how unbelievably lucky, prosperous, talented, skilled, happy, hardship free this country has been before the outbreak and how significant and paramount should the steps be in bringing this country and our communities back to normal, to the LIFE that we knew and successfully lived each and every day. To all of us my wishes are to be strong, resilient, safe, healthy and try to concentrate our inner sights on the present moment and things at hand, knowing that dwelling in the past can bring about depressed mood and looking constantly into the future and what it holds can spark more anxiety and unneeded panic. Stay close and connected to your immediate families, relatives and friends through any possible social media to maintain support, unity and give support to others. Nothing in this life is permanent except for the Finish line, let us all maintain this feeling in our hearts that this situation and stress will end and as a nation we will rejoice in winning the “war with the virus”, on becoming stronger, deeper thinkers, more appreciative and grateful for our lives and new adventures to come. Please consider the importance and effectiveness of mindfulness, breathing techniques and meditation, that you can incorporate into your daily routine. These techniques are paramount in dealing with anxiety, stress, panic and depressed mood. They stabilize our system and teach us how to control our response to stress and bring our body and mind to the state of equilibrium. Try to engage in daily stretching exercises (found on Youtube) to help your body relax and avoid problems with the spine and neck areas. Read more books and literature on mindfulness (I.e. Jon Kabbat-Zinn, Eckhart Tolle books) to bring about more sense of inner peace and calmness, and increase our natural self-healing process as well as enhance our knowledge of yogic stillness and mindful living.

I thank you for reading my article and I’m here for you if you need my assistance and advice.

Please reach our to me with any questions by emailing Myquietplacepc@gmail.com or check out my website at www.myquietplacecounseling.com

Please be safe, healthy and maintain calmness.

Sincerely yours,

Marina Krugolets, LMHC, CDP.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

COVID-19

March 23, 2020 by Marina Krugolets Leave a Comment

My dear clients! I hope things are OK with you in this very trying and challenging time for all of us.

In light of the recent Covid news, I had to make these prompt changes to keep all of us healthy and safe, both my family and yours. I offer secure HIPPA-compliant video or phone sessions to avoid exposure and follow social distancing, so that I do not put my own family and my clients at a higher risk.

I highly recommend video sessions since it’s the closest feel to face-to-face therapy, where the difference is hardly felt between these therapy venues, video sessions are very clear and we see each other well. Additionally, my clients enjoy that our sessions are conducted from the comfort of their own homes and they can avoid unneeded and non essential travel. For my existing clients, the continuity of therapy is vital to see progress and results in sessions. Adjustment can be difficult for many of us, especially in such times where changes happen abruptly, stress, anxiety and state of panic can be triggered by people feeling this state of limbo and the state of the big unknown, when we may not be able to necessarily pinpoint the resolution to the problem. Stress can be beneficial to many people when its dosage is limited and fleeting, however prolonged and high levels of stress are detrimental to the body and can induce higher levels of anxiety, panic, apathy and depressed mood. I’m here for you and am happy to offer various therapeutic methods and techniques that help you resolve your negative feelings and teach you better coping methods to deal with the reality of today. I’m here for you to address any other challenges and problems you’re going through in your personal, familial and professional lives.

Feel free to reach out to me via Email or by phone and I’ll send the info required on taking further steps to connect. In such times of need it is vital to maintain calm and balanced approach to the changes that need our implementation, and to practice mindfulness and the power of NOW. Please stay healthy and safe.

My warmest regards,
your NY psychotherapist, Marina Krugolets.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Male Bonding

December 18, 2016 by Marina Krugolets Leave a Comment

I surveyed a dozen men while researching the topic of Male Bonding. My questions to the male audience were: 1. what does male bonding mean to you and 2. what purpose does it serve in your life (single or married)?

We need to differentiate between 2 stages of male bonding experiences: before marriage and after marriage.

Many of the responses I received from my male audience coincided with my own analysis of this topic and the conclusion I was able to draw from this small research was that male bonding is a healthy and wonderful thing in a man’s life because it gives him a chance to spend quality time in the company of like minded male friends whom he can relate to (key word) on a variety of levels while discussing relevant, interesting or pressing things/experiences that are taking place in a men’s life. To my question about whether male bonding -pre or post marriage- is different many respondents noted that it is definitely different due to the nature of questions/topics men are discussing in their buddy circle. Whereas single or dating men would typically discuss women, dating, sexual innuendoes, outings and hobbies, in married life men usually discuss or vent about marital relationships, children and their upbringing, the toll responsibilities take on a married person, feeling exhausted, work challenges, family vacations and/or business ideas to supplement the income. This should not reflect the notion that male bonding is more significant in married men but one important point to be made here is that male bonding carries more of a therapeutic significance in married men. This happens because it allows men to vent their problems to the other like-minded guys, feel the importance of male acceptance, non-judgmental listening and feedback provided by friends in an environment of male comradery.

In psychotherapy, these factors are amongst some of the major healing agents in the process of coming to terms with what is and accepting the present reality. The factors of acceptance, lack of judgment, reflective listening, empathy, support and productive feedback can serve many men as a healthy substitute to therapy or marital counseling (considering that interpersonal relationships are not in a difficult/stuck mode). Male population, which has a tendency to shut down emotionally and avoid disclosing their true, dark feelings as well as find unhealthy outlets to pour their emotions into- would greatly benefit from having a ‘buddy ear’ that they can bend to get a mild or moderate emotional/psychological relief from their everyday challenges and relationship problems.

As you can see, I’m coming to the conclusion that male bonding serves a healthy purpose in a man’s life, his marital experiences, resolution of his personal challenges and acceptance of present reality.

Here is to women who support male bonding or to the ones who are on the path of accepting its significance!

Filed Under: emotional connection, Friendship, men's psychology, psychology of relationships, psychotherapy, today's psychology Tagged With: bonding, connection, emotions, female perception, friendship, male psychology, men, psychology, relationships, women

An Ode to Guyhood.

December 15, 2016 by Marina Krugolets Leave a Comment

An Ode to Guyhood.

Do women really understand ‘A Guy’s struggle’ in this world?

Be it a single guy or a married one, the dating guy or a settled (ringed) one- guys go through various developmental milestones even after crossing over puberty, entering adulthood and trying to find their place “under the Female Sun”. I’ve heard this thought expressed during our sessions by several of my male clients. I kept thinking- is it really hard to be a Guy?

Take, for example, a married man with a few children in tow. What does his life consist of living with a typical wife (excuse me, of course we are all unique and in need of better understanding), who exudes an array of typical behavior that is cited in a myriad of jokes and portrayed by comedians? This guy with a family is probably dreaming of some peaceful time after work to watch a superhero movie or go fishing with his buddies, or better yet- plump himself on the couch with a newspaper, or order a dozen of hot wings and watch On Demand whatever. He also dreams of getaways, spontaneous sex, attention from attractive female species (yes, he still needs to feel handsome), late night get togethers with his buddies, male only Vegas trips, you name it! What is the realistic environment of this married man? A train of responsibilities and chores after work, chauffeuring his children to various activities, chaperoning play dates or birthday parties on weekends, a tired wife in the evenings and zero spontaneous sex (“kids can hear or see us”- coming from the wife).

To conclude, his life is not so simple, if you ask me. Being of a different gender I understand all difficulties that women have to go through and endure starting from their own toddlerhood, but who really understands the spectrum of challenges that men have to cope with? Yes, we, as women, want to see our guys as protectors, breadwinners, child educators/punishers, financial decision makers, the ones who would empathize with our unique female challenges and emotional experiences. So then we, in return, need to try harder and dig deeper into our men’s emotional world experiences, needs and wishes, make stronger attempts to understand male species better, feel them on the deeper level, catch their moods (yes, men also get moody though they express it covertly and not overtly as women do) and offer them more empathy after a long work day. We, as women, need to try harder and let men spread their wings of freedom more often, agree to their buddy outings, fishing trips so that they have an even greater desire to come home to an understanding and sweet wife.

I dedicate this Ode to a Guy who is searching for more acceptance, understanding, empathy and support from his female audience.

 

 

Marina Krugolets, LMHC, LPC.

Psychotherapist (Adults, children & couples), Clinical Counselor and Advocate for Senior citizens at Nursing homes, Online psychotherapist and a very patient mother of 2 beautiful girls.

You can reach Marina by emailing her with your questions or scheduling a consultation with her at myquietplacepc@gmail.com and by visiting her site- www.myquietplacecounseling.com

Filed Under: men's psychology, psychology of relationships, psychotherapy Tagged With: couples, empathy, men, online counseling, psychology, relationships, women

My Quiet Place

Marina Krugolets, LMHC, LPC

(917) 900-1177
myquietplacepc@gmail.com

2381 Hylan Blvd, LL, Suite #2
Staten Island, NY 10306

40 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011


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My Quiet Place

Marina Krugolets, LMHC, LPC
Psychotherapy for Adults, Families, & Couples
Office visits available in Staten Island, NY
 
Phone: (917) 900-1177
Email: myquietplacepc@gmail.com
 
2381 Hylan Blvd, LL, Suite #2
Staten Island, NY 10306

 
40 West 13th Street
New York, NY 10011

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