An Ode to Guyhood.
Do women really understand ‘A Guy’s struggle’ in this world?
Be it a single guy or a married one, the dating guy or a settled (ringed) one- guys go through various developmental milestones even after crossing over puberty, entering adulthood and trying to find their place “under the Female Sun”. I’ve heard this thought expressed during our sessions by several of my male clients. I kept thinking- is it really hard to be a Guy?
Take, for example, a married man with a few children in tow. What does his life consist of living with a typical wife (excuse me, of course we are all unique and in need of better understanding), who exudes an array of typical behavior that is cited in a myriad of jokes and portrayed by comedians? This guy with a family is probably dreaming of some peaceful time after work to watch a superhero movie or go fishing with his buddies, or better yet- plump himself on the couch with a newspaper, or order a dozen of hot wings and watch On Demand whatever. He also dreams of getaways, spontaneous sex, attention from attractive female species (yes, he still needs to feel handsome), late night get togethers with his buddies, male only Vegas trips, you name it! What is the realistic environment of this married man? A train of responsibilities and chores after work, chauffeuring his children to various activities, chaperoning play dates or birthday parties on weekends, a tired wife in the evenings and zero spontaneous sex (“kids can hear or see us”- coming from the wife).
To conclude, his life is not so simple, if you ask me. Being of a different gender I understand all difficulties that women have to go through and endure starting from their own toddlerhood, but who really understands the spectrum of challenges that men have to cope with? Yes, we, as women, want to see our guys as protectors, breadwinners, child educators/punishers, financial decision makers, the ones who would empathize with our unique female challenges and emotional experiences. So then we, in return, need to try harder and dig deeper into our men’s emotional world experiences, needs and wishes, make stronger attempts to understand male species better, feel them on the deeper level, catch their moods (yes, men also get moody though they express it covertly and not overtly as women do) and offer them more empathy after a long work day. We, as women, need to try harder and let men spread their wings of freedom more often, agree to their buddy outings, fishing trips so that they have an even greater desire to come home to an understanding and sweet wife.
I dedicate this Ode to a Guy who is searching for more acceptance, understanding, empathy and support from his female audience.
Marina Krugolets, LMHC, LPC.
Psychotherapist (Adults, children & couples), Clinical Counselor and Advocate for Senior citizens at Nursing homes, Online psychotherapist and a very patient mother of 2 beautiful girls.
You can reach Marina by emailing her with your questions or scheduling a consultation with her at firstname.lastname@example.org and by visiting her site- www.myquietplacecounseling.com